(HSP) a Highly Sensitive Person

feels and thinks deeply, may be easily overwhelmed, experiences intense emotions, and are empathic - attuned to the emotions and needs of others. Read more to learn about the HSP trait and what it means to be an HSP

If you’re like me, the term “highly sensitive” gives you an unpleasant feeling, at first

Maybe, it’s from:

  • feeling like or being told “you’re too sensitive”

  • having others try to “toughen” you up or rush you

  • feeling ashamed or bad for needing more time to yourself and not liking what others seem to

  • wanting more time alone or in smaller groups of 2 or 3, to be outside, and in a quieter environment

  • feeling overwhelmed often and needing time to process and think deeply

  • wanting to have deeper conversations with others and can feel like a burden or unwanted if they are uninterested in those conversations

Background - What does Highly Sensitive even Mean?

Being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) is not a choice, it is something you are born with and has many gifts as well as challenges.

Being a Highly Sensitive Person is a trait, not a mental disorder, and is found in approximately 20-30% of the population.

Being highly sensitive is an adaptive trait, a survival strategy, where approximately 70% are introverts and some are high sensation seekers. The trait is adaptive, because it gives us the ability t0:

  • sense things others may not, being very attuned to ourselves and others; such as being aware of emotions, body language, and “vibe” of another person

  • think deeply about things, be more creative with solutions, think ahead and are more prepared

  • take time to process and think before acting - which can come in handy when trying to make good decisions

  • be observant of our surroundings and other people; notice small details and subtleties

  • use our attunement to emotions, others, and nature to create beautiful and helpful things for ourselves and others

Wondering if you are a Highly Sensitive Person?

Being highly sensitive has four main indicators:

(Aron, 2010)

1.) Depth of Processing

Description: thinking deeply and needing time to process/reflect, especially due to having many strong feelings and empathy for others

Examples: You spend time journaling or reflecting on many things such as interactions with others or events, where you are trying to figure out why you feel certain ways. You spend time contemplating the meaning of life, what you are going to do to be on the right path, and what the right path may be.

2.) Overarousability

Description: uncomfortable and poor performance with lots of stimulation, feeling overwhelmed when many things are happening at once

Examples: You feel drained after going to places with a lot of people. You have a difficult time multitasking and can shut down or get irritable if many things are happening at once. You process many things at once - your feelings, others, noticing details, preparing for the worst - you can feel exhausted quickly.

3.) Emotional Intensity

Description: strong emotional responses

Examples: You have a hard time with horror, violent, cringy, or very emotional movies, because it evokes very strong emotions in you that can be intense, draining, and have lasting effects. You are around someone who is suffering in some way and feel strongly about what they are going through to where it effects you deeply.

4.) Sensory Sensitivity

Description: very attuned to yourself and others, highly observant and may notice details others miss, strongly affected by environmental and social factors

Examples: Loud and busy environments can be very distracting as well as tight or uncomfortable clothes. Sounds, materials, smells, tastes, and visual elements are important to you because they can have a big effect.

This means that:

  1. we can easily feel misunderstood

  2. feel like something is wrong with us

  3. suffer if we compare ourselves to others and try to live like a non-HSP person

  4. are more susceptible to anxiety, depression, and shyness if we experience trauma in childhood

  5. more troubled by life events

  6. largely influenced and effected by our environments

  7. very attuned to potential rejection and harm

  8. can get irritated quickly and can be very critical of ourselves and others

It also means that you are likely:

  • insightful

  • self-aware

  • empathic

  • value doing good and helping others

  • creative

  • attuned to other’s emotions and needs

  • intuitive and have many “gut” feelings about things

  • notice subtleties and small details

  • loyal

It may take some time to fully understand, accept, be kind to yourself, and change your life based on your needs

- and that’s okay.

There are many ways to work with ourselves to live life more balanced and in-tune with our needs.

As Highly Sensitive Persons,

we may be more likely to have to navigate: (Aron, 2020)

  • physical problems (fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, allergies, premenstrual syndrome, neck and back pain, migraines self-esteem)

  • anxiety, depression, & shyness

  • other’s influence on what’s important/valued

  • low self-views

  • pain of criticism

  • lifestyle changes

  • relationship challenges

Yes, there’s Hope

The good news,

other than some of the strengths of Highly Sensitive Persons mentioned previously, is that there is:

  • lots of research out there on this trait

  • suggestions on changes that can be helpful for HSPs

  • community, as this trait is becoming more well known

  • balance and self-acceptance is possible

Important Take Aways

Hopefully, after reading this, you feel seen and even empowered that you are sensitive and have many strengths. Sometimes, that’s hard to remember when we can struggle with the intensity of our trait, overwhelm, and need to recover. This trait is not a choice, but we can choose to see ourselves in a positive light, honor ourselves and our unique needs, and remember, that many beautiful things entered this world because of people who feel and think deeply. It can be a lot to perceive so much at one time, attuned to many details including our own emotions and others, and it can be crucial to listen to what our mind and body are telling us and make some needed change.

Sensitive people are needed in this world, and maybe, it’s time to challenge some of those negative thoughts, other’s beliefs about ourselves we learned from our past, and implement more self-care that is nourishing for our sensitive selves. We can feel better if we give ourselves the time to process, work through emotions, and have that needed downtime, and it can also have a beneficial effect in our relationships and work life.

For more information

  • about the Highly Sensitive Person, Dr. Elaine Aron, PhD, is a psychologist and researcher who has a website with more information. She also has a “self-test” on her website with more traits of HSPs:

Therapy

  • Therapy can be especially beneficial for sensitive persons, as it

    • provides the needed space to explore and make sense of our many thoughts, emotions, and experiences

    • helps us realize our strengths and attain the confidence we need to identify and make change

    • gives us the support we need to heal emotional wounds and connect to a stronger sense of self

  • If this is something you’re wanting to explore more in therapy, you can refer to my “Contact Me” button below to set up a free 20 minute consultation to see if this would be a good fit for you. There is also a directory of HSP therapists on this website: https://hsperson.com/therapists/seeking-an-hsp-knowledgeable-therapist/

New posts every month

  • I will be posting more information and resources in the hopes that it will help you on your journey, like it has helped me on mine.

What to know when blog posts are released?

  • Sign up below to receive notifications when new blogs are published

Until next time,

- Elizabeth Niewojna, MEd, LPCC

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